Venting Drive Plasma

I’ve been writing a lot less than I’ve wanted to lately. And reading a lot less than I’ve wanted to. Not to mention gaming, photographing, travelling, hiking and exploring. Ruby? Yeah, I remember I should be doing that too. Dating has been stuck into assorted time slots, and often pushed aside completely when more important things come into play.

I’m running into just about everything all at the same time. Work has been, as expected this month, absolutely insane busy and I’m finding it impossible to disengage myself in the evening. It’s hard to think of anything else when I know that if I get more done now, there’ll be less tasks when I come into the office tomorrow. My work-life balance is pretty far out of whack, but it’s not going to get better any time soon.

I have this sneaking suspicion that my immune system is fighting off a virus and is working overtime to keep me up and running because it knows that if I stumble, things won’t go well. I’m keeping it reinforced as best I can with sleep and vitamins, but I just hope it can last out until I can pay proper attention to myself again. On a normal workload, I usually have one mug of green tea in the morning. Now I’ve switched to multiple mugs of black tea and coffee a day. It’s not a good combination.

My lease is up at the end of July, and I’m already freaking out about finding a new place to live. I know I’m going to be moving out, but the prospect of searching for another place is terrifying. It’s one of my least favorite activities ever, and I don’t know when I’ll be able to fit that in. Cancelling sleep, maybe? Weekends?

I’m supposed to be planning vacations, concerts to go to, and try to do normal human things to try and get away from work and de-stress. But it’s almost impossible to get myself up to the task, and when opportunities do come up, our upcoming project schedule have already nuked plans. And even if those are clear, my co-workers have already planned things for the same days and I’m stuck covering their loads. And, of course, once I do find something, everyone else I want to go with is completely socked up and unavailable.

As per usual standard operating procedure, dating is going terrifically terrible. Whatever I can get scheduled usually results in awkward interactions followed by a lack of any further correspondence. I’m not looking for anything serious or long-term, but I would like something at least resembling a relationship. Clearly I must come off as a complete jerk with the personality of some primordial ooze, and I have to admit: my self-confidence is starting to take a hit.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that please don’t take it personally if I’m not very responsive or unusually terse, even for me. I’m just trying to save some sanity. I’ll be back soon to the world of the living. I promise. Right after I flee to Alaska for a week. Or Vancouver Island. Or anywhere. Eventually.

2 thoughts on “Venting Drive Plasma

  1. Obviously you don’t come across like a jerk nor do you reek of primordial ooze. I would suspect that the one-two punch of high stress levels and suffering from low self-esteem is the culprit.

    Also, photography/concerts/non-work fun can be had. You’ve got friends, yo!


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