“How I picked Sarah Palin,” by John McCain

Picking a running mate is no easy chore, that’s for sure. It seems that no matter who you choose–be it the dashing young Mitt Romney, the American Hero Rudy Giuliani, or my friend Joe Lieberman–some whiner has to bring up some issue about them. I’ll tell you what, I’m damned tired of hearing “he’s a mormon” or “he supports unborn baby killing” or “he gave his girlfriend NYPD protection.” If I hear one more complaint, I’m going to turn around and give the whiner a swift “American justice” punch to the face. That’s for sure.

I thought about all of those champs, and Uncle Karl helped me along the way. But then Sarah Palin caught my eye. Maybe it was the potential for “abuse of power” trooper scandal, perhaps it was her pregnant 17-year old daughter,  or it even could have been her powerful qualification as “same internal organs as Hillary.” Plus she’s way hotter than Hildawg.

You can complain about who I picked, that she’s “inexperienced” or “right wing crazy wacko” or “a fascist.” But I say… neener neener neener. I’m running for President, and you’re not.

I sure know how to pick 'em.

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