Religion

I’ve found religion. I’m none other than one who believes in the Flying Spaghetti Monster as our one true deity. It’s my subtle “screw you” to all you “god is the only one” types out there. So if you insult my religion, I’ll be forced to smite you; actually, He’ll smite you with His invisible noodly appendage. Watch out. Oh, and if you really think about this without any bias and prejudics, there’s just as much evidence supporting my god as there is supporting yours.

haha, Götterdämmerung'ed
Source: Venganza.org

While I’m at it, I also feel like explaining the causes of global warming. If you’re a liberal you think it’s caused by humanity dumping prodigious amounts of poison into our atmosphere; Republicans think that it’s a natural cycle, and mother Earth (an extension of the Flying Spaghetti Monster) will heal herself in due time. I, however, support a third, and (once the facts are considered) obviously true argument, that global warming is a direct correlation to the decrease in the number of pirates. This handy, bytesized (well 30,500 bytes, to be exactingly precise) graph will explain what my words cannot do: penetrate your thick skull.

Perhaps we shouldn't have stuck them into cages over the river Thames after all...

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s