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    The evil giant octopus Ecthelion

    by  • June 20, 2009. 12:33 am • General, Nikky • 0 Comments

    In my Astron­omy out­reach class last quar­ter, one of our quizzes for the class con­tained a ques­tion where we had to make up a con­stel­la­tion, explain what it looked like, and cre­ated a back story behind it.

    They range from the slightly tasty:

    Zeus’ daugh­ter made him his favorite cup­cake one day. She wanted to sur­prise her dad,so she left it on the counter for him to find. When she brought him into the kitchen to show him, they caught Pisces try­ing to sneak a bite of the dessert. Zeus’ daugh­ter began to cry hys­ter­i­cally and Zeus lost his tem­per. He grabbed the cup­cake and threw out the win­dow into the heav­ens above. And as pun­ish­ment to Pisces, he threw the fish into the night sky, where he will always be out of reach of the cup­cake as it sits deli­ciously uneaten for eter­nity in front of his face.

    …to com­pletely destroy­ing a child­hood movie…

    The evil giant octo­pus Ecthe­lion tor­mented the peo­ple of Fer­n­gully for many years. It would always steal people’s left shoes, blow out can­dles of birth­day cakes, replace door­mats with jel­ly­fish, and other such atroc­i­ties. One day the peo­ple of Fer­n­gully set up a cat­a­pult trap and sent Ecthe­lion far into the sky, where he still is today, still hold­ing a left shoe.

    …to the just plain weird…

    –snip– At night of the third day he snuck his way up the tree and got into posi­tion. He put his lips to his horn in prepa­ra­tion, when all of the sud­den he real­ized that STINKY POOPED ON HIS MOUTH PIECE! –snip–

    …some peo­ple actu­ally tried to make it serious…

    My con­stel­la­tion is a small dog named Char­lotte located towards the bot­tom left of the image. It is made up of 6 stars. Char­lotte became stuck in the sky when she was run­ning for a stick that her mas­ter threw up in the night sky for her to catch. When she jumped for it, she became for­ever stuck. If you look close enough above her, you can see a stick in the sky.

    …to the insane…

    My con­stel­la­tion is a glut­to­nous chee­tah. A long time ago there was a teenage boy who thought that he was hot stuff because he was a rich Prince. To enter­tain him­self he took up hunt­ing and one day, despite being told not to, he went hunt­ing alone. Late in the after­noon, he became very tired and laid down for a nap. Unbe­knownst to him, a hun­gry chee­tah had been watch­ing him hop­ing he’d do just that. As soon as the boy fell asleep the chee­tah ate him up. Hav­ing never tasted a human before, the chee­tah found them to be quite deli­cious and began crav­ing humans daily. To sat­isfy his crav­ings, he began steal­ing other teenagers from the Prince’s vil­lage dur­ing the night time. These very rich snacks began to (lit­er­ally) weigh on his appear­ance and soon the chee­tah became very fat. One night, the chee­tah made too much noise enter­ing the vil­lage and the Queen, the Prince’s mother, caught sight of him sneak­ing into the home of their neigh­bor. Out­raged and bit­ter from her son’s death, the Queen ran after the chee­tah with a cast iron skil­let and the chee­tah, too fat to run away, was bat­ted with the skil­let into the sky, far away from the vil­lage or humans of any sort. The Queen, real­iz­ing she had an amaz­ing swing, invented the game of soft­ball and became a world-famous bat­ter. The end.

    …the oddly judgmental…

    The Har­vester (sickle shape on the left being held by rough face on the left). Over many years, the Har­vester has swung his sickle towards the earth, when it finally reaches the Earth, then will all peo­ple be judged.

    …the hilar­i­ously told…

    Leonard the wink­ing giraffe. (Not to be con­fused with Leo the lion) Leonard was a giraffe. How­ever did a giraffe ever stum­ble his way into Greek mythol­ogy? Easy, when Dar­ius I of Per­sian Empire fame rolled into Greece and got beat at Marathon by the Athe­ni­ans, he brought Leonard, a docile giraffe, along for the jour­ney. You see, Dar­ius I was a tad eccen­tric, and loved things which were ridicu­lous. This brings me to the giraffe. Leonard could wink. In fact, Leonard the giraffe winked like Sarah Palin in a Vice– Pres­i­den­tial debate. Dar­ius, for some rea­son, thought this was wicked awe­some. Adding to the giraffe’s allure was the fact that Dar­ius could ride him around on his flag­ship and see things that were far away. How­ever, I digress. After the naval bat­tle, the Greeks were sur­prised to find this giraffe washed ashore. Lo and behold if this giraffe sur­vived, so the Greeks brought him back to Athens. There, Leonard lived out the rest of his life sur­rounded by Athen­ian schol­ars, who also loved the spec­ta­cle of a wink­ing giraffe. Price­less. Zeus, who at the time seemed to look for any excuse to fling some­thing into the night sky, thought that peo­ple through­out eter­nity would love to look up and see a wink­ing giraffe. Thus he tossed Leonard the giraffe up into the heav­ens at the end of his nat­ural life, mak­ing him the patron con­stel­la­tion of the downright-silly and randomly-awesome.

    …and finally, the one writ­ten while some­one was on drugs…

    Story: Once upon a time there were two of the swingest Czech broth­ers in all of New York City. Every night they would go out and hit on foxes because they were two wild and crazy guys!!! One night they went to a club to swing with foxes in the their tight poly­ester pants. At this club there two swin­ing foxes who the brother fell in love with. To win there affec­tion they enter a disco danc­ing com­pe­ti­tion in the club, there were many good dance con­tes­tants and the brother got scared and went home to fig­ure how they were going to win and attract the foxes. They went into their closet and pulled out a Czech danc­ing robot reserved for only the high­est rank­ing offi­cial in the com­mu­nist party. They turned ont eh robot and began to prac­tice with it, hours and hours they swang. Finally they returned to the club for the con­test, they were the last to go. They stepped out on to the multi-color floor light up with all the light chang­ing color. Under the disco ball the bang to groove and boo­gie, the two swing­ing foxes saw them and were very impressed, the brother danced harder and harder embold­ened by their suc­cess. They danced so hard that the floor could not take it any more and exploded under their sheer swing­ing groovey boogi­ness. The two swing Czech broth­ers were thrown into the sky by the dance related explo­sion. To this day we can still see the two swingi­est Czech brother danc­ing for all foxes to see because they are two wild and crazy guys!!!!

    I only included about 1/3 of them on this post, you can see all of the sub­mis­sions here: mythos_spr2009

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    I'm Nikky, and I'm fairly awesome.

    http://nykida.net

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