On the way to the #tcpa meetup, Katy, Dun­can and I rode an Amtrak train to Port­land. We soon real­ized that there was a lady sit­ting in front of us who was either a com­plete idiot or was drunk at 9 in the morning.

What fol­lows is but a snip­pet of her bril­liant observations.

“I think we’re going under the bridge”

“Oh! There’s a fox­glove growing!”

“Oh! There it goes! It IS a sis­ter train!” (When we pulled off the main line to let
another Amtrak train pass in the oppo­site direction)

“We’re going faster now! Can you feel it?”

“Have we gone through Olympia yet?” (20 min­utes after stop­ping
at the Olympia station)

“I’ve never been to Cen­tralia before!” (If she had ever been on I-5 south she has been in Centralia)

“Soneone needs to come down here and sell them siding!”

“There’s no toi­let paper in there!”

“I did find the toi­let seat cov­ers this time”

“When do those kids find the time to graf­fiti  those trains?”

“Did you hear about the one on Lake Union that caught fire and lit­er­ally burned?”

“See those sweet peas? When I go for a walk at lunch time I pick them and 
tape them to my com­puter. I guess I need a vase”

I think near the end they might have sus­pected some­thing when we ducked 
down in our seats and­started laugh­ing (not to men­tion writ­ing it down!) after 
she started talk­ing. We didn’t care.

She is the kind of per­son who needs to be con­sti­tu­tion­ally forced to have her
head sep­a­rated from the rest of her body.

Did I men­tion her travel mates decided to get her a screw­driver drink
mid­way through the ride?